Cry "havoc," and let slip the war of dogs

Oh great. Now The Dog Whisperer is giving political advice. People Magazine quotes Cesar Millan, who famously instructs dog owners to be "calm and assertive" — and leaders of their pack. Well, we saw the leader at today's press conference, with a pretty impressive pack behind him. (As a friend of mine from Chicago used to say, "Not too shabby." His dog of choice, by the way, was the basset hound.) 

That calm assertive energy is something Millan sees "coming out of Barack during his speeches" and advises him to maintain it – not just with dogs but with world leaders as well. [Emphasis mine.]

Yeah, as if Obama were going to get snarky with Sarkozy, or brassy with Brown. I do believe that Obama will keep his masterful cool with Putin or a poodle; he doesn't need Mr. Millan to give him lessons. 

And speaking of poodles, were it not for its utterly undeserved "frou frou" connotation, the standard poodle would be the ideal dog for the Obama Family. Its almost uncanny ability to process information and to communicate effectively mirror the great skills of the President-elect and his First Lady-elect. Its beguiling good manners recall the dear and dignified charm of  the First Daughters-elect. It is playful, loving, a great watchdog (perhaps not especially important when you've got the Secret Service on the job), and, oh, I dunno, just adorable. And it's also the best damned dog for people with allergies.

Do I have a bias? Yes, indeed. I've had the daily pleasure of living with standard poodles for a couple of decades now — first Max, a boy dog — and for the last ten years the ineffable Bizou, our girl pictured here, who is a non-stop source of joy for our entire household.

Nothing frou-frou there, nor Blairian. But I don't know, frankly, if the American people are ready for a breed that has a certain whiff of aristocracy — although I have reason to hope, as of November 4, that we're done with the reverse snobbery of Nixon's "Orthogonians" and their misbegotten progeny.

In this regard perhaps it is helpful to note that, according to Toronto's Globe & Mail, "a summertime poll from the American Kennel Club surveyed 42,000 voters. The people spoke, and they want a purebred poodle." (Of course the AKC may be a self-selecting, um, élite.)

As an Animal Planet junkie, I'm a sucker for winsome rescue dogs with heartrending back stories, and if the Obamas can find one that's hypo-allergenic, then maybe that's the route they should take.

But I think that once you have a poodle you can never go back. Which is to say, as breeds go, it's the right dog for  progressives!