Unnatural Male Enhancement

While researching links for the previous post, I stumbled across this AP item which must be immediately broadcast far and wide:

Toad aphrodisiac kills man, NY issues warning

NEW YORK - Health officials are warning New Yorkers to stay away from an illegal aphrodisiac made from toad venom after the product apparently killed a man.

The city's poison control center issued the warning Friday after receiving a hospital report that a 35-year-old man who ingested the hard, brown substance died earlier this month.

The product is sold under names including Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone, Black Stone and Chinese Rock at sex shops and neighborhood stores. It is banned by the Food and Drug Administration. [...]

Health officials said the hardened resin, made with venom from toads of the Bufo genus, contains chemicals that can disrupt heart rhythms.

The aphrodisiac was supposed to have been applied to the skin, not eaten, but authorities said even that use can be harmful.

Will someone please explain why men are so obsessed with their penises that they will do anything, ingest anything to get a woody. Gullible men will kill any animal, preferably exotic and endangered, to obtain bizarre body parts that might somehow magically impart the dead animal's puissance to their flaccid members. It's just pathetic. No wonder every day brings an avalanche of spam touting penis enlargers and bogus aphrodisiacs. No surprise that we're inundated with ads and commercials pushing Big Pharma's favorite cash cows, Cialis and Viagra. (What is it with those idiotic Cialis commercials ending with the happy couple outside somewhere in a pair of bathtubs? Is that some kind of symbolism I'm missing?) And who could forget to mention Smilin' Bob and his Enzyte habit? Natural male enhancement, indeed. Ha!

Of course, women who inject themselves with Botulinum toxin can hardly wag their fingers at a little toad venom.